Oreolalax Nanjiangensis

So when you type in an animal's scientific name on Wikipedia, it usually redirects to a page with the actual English name, like this. But, sadly for the oreolalax nanjiangensis, there is no actual name. He doesn't have one. He's just a totally ambiguous frog-like creature. Hell, I don't even know if he's a frog by reading this article. It just says he's an amphibian endemic to China. So it could be a salamander or a toad. Are those the only amphibians? I think so.

After further inspection of his scientific classification chart, I now know that this animal is a frog. But WTF does he look like? What does he do?! Let's use deductive reasoning, shall we? That's what my good friend Jessie Bloodgood would do.

Oreolalax nanjiangensis. Break it down:

• Oreo: Well, no we're getting somewhere. This frog is obviously black & white. And tastes excellent dipped in peanut butter.
• Lalax: In my mind, "la-la" brings to mind Ashlee Simpsion (sad, I know), and "lax" makes me think of my friend Andy because he often yells, "Guy! ReLAX!" in his ridiculous Boston accent.* But, you know, "lalax" all together just makes me think of Dr. Seuss' most preachy story of all, The Lorax. So, this frog must be an environmentalist. Makes sense, since Wiki says oreolalax is threatened by loss of habitat. Sorry, buddy.
• Nanjia: Duh. Ninja. He's a ninja frog. 2nd cousin of the ninja turtle. His weapon of choice is the throwing star.
• Gensis: Easy. Phil Collins.

In conclusion, we have now determined that oreolalax nanjiangensis is a black & white frog who's a member of PETA and stalks its prey using the kung fu tiger style to the tune of some of the 1980s' favorite soft rock hits. This is Sussudio. A great, great song. A personal favorite. (At least according to this guy.)

*It does NOT make me think of Ex-Lax, okay? There will be no potty humor on Wikrolled.