Soleil Moon Frye

Now this Wikroll merits not just an OMG, but a ZOMG! Are you kidding me?! Soleil Moon Frye is more or less my hero. Well, okay. Her character on beloved sitcom Punky Brewster is my hero. I was Punky for Halloween in 1st grade...and 2nd grade...and 3rd grade.

As far as I was concerned, Punky Brewster was the best TV show of all time. Until 1990, of course. That's when the best TV show of all time became Saved by the Bell, and Punky was relegated to best TV show about Chicago of all time (yes, better than Perfect Strangers). If you know me at all, you know that's my steadfast belief. Luckily, SBTB and Punky swapped cast members occasionally.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris to those who have never had a television ever) guest starred as Punky's math tutor on one of the later episodes when she'd adopted a more normal super 80s bright-colored fashion sense (after she stopped wearing her signature jeans-bandanna-vest-pigtail ensemble but before she got super hot & sexy). Sadly, the episode ended in Zack screwing over both Punky and Margaux (sorry, Cherie), but at least Punky came through and earned an A+ in friendship (PLEASE watch the clip).

In return, a grown Soleil traveled to Bayside high to play Screech's gold digging fake girlfriend in the Screech's Spaghetti Sauce episode. (The sauce-a you can have, but the secret? She's-a mine.) Of course, this was during a tough time in Soleil's life, right about the time of her monumental breast reduction survey. Yes. Punky grew from a mismatched tomboy to a very voluptuous young lady. In fact, Wikipedia claims she suffered from gigantomastia. Poor Punky.*

It's sad to think about Punky growing up back then and getting more & more uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable than the time she liked some boy on the show, and he said his favorite color was orange, so she dressed in head-to-toe orange and then attempted to pluck her eyebrows. Ouch. It was not a shining moment for Penelope Brewster. At least she's all better now.

Well, kind of. She's ostensibly more comfortable, but she's making some poor life choices these days:

1. She's been spending her time hanging out with her new BFF Melissa Joan Hart (who hasn't wowed me since her days as Clarissa, to be honest).
   
2. She's voicing Bratz dolls in movies. Kind of ironic, eh? Bratz dolls have the same proportions Soleil was in danger of having before her surgery!
   
3. She's married to the guy who invented Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher. I wonder if that's how he thought of the name Punk'd. I mean, the term did kinda come out of nowhere, didn't it? "Hey, Ashton, let's just name it after my wife. Cool?"
   
4. They named their children Poet Sienna Rose and Jagger Joseph Blue. Poor kids. I hope they don't suffer from gigantomastia too.
   

I guess nobody's perfect. Even my hero Punky. but what would one expect from a lady named Sun Moon? Yeah, I know French. Je te le tua, je ne le ca va?**

UPDATE: Check this out. Punky on Twitter (Ugh, Twitter. It's so WEIRD.): http://celebrity-babies.com/2009/04/22/soleil-moon-frye-finds-a-twitter-pal-in-daughter-poet/

*When I write her name, it makes me think of the Family Guy episode where Brian does his impression of Punky's adoptive father Henry saying "Punkaaaay" over & over. Coindicentally, Jessie Bloodgood does an excellent version of Punky saying "Henry."

**To my knowledge, this means nothing.