Sweet Savage

The entry for hard rock band Sweet Savage so non-objectively refers to their heavy style as bolstered by "two guitars, thundering bass and powerhouse drums." Now, I'm no music expert (well, 11 years of piano and one song learned on violin), but I don't think those are very unbiased terms, crazy Wikipedia editors. Better log on and send them a death threat. (Seriously, our intern at work got a death threat from a Wiki editor for putting what they deemed "promotional" copy on our company page. Yikes.)

In any event, let's just forget about that and talk about what actually comes to my mind when I see their name: Kevin Arnold. Yes, that's right. In honor of my dear dear friend Jessica Bloodgood's impending birthday, I'll dedicate this post to Fred Savage, her soulmate.

Now, over the years, Jessica has indeed had her fair share of run-ins with really exciting celebrities, including the time she nearly assaulted John Stamos at an airport and told him that she loved him.

But some of the better celebrity moments Ms. Bloodgood has experienced have come in the form of autographs. As a child, Jess had perfected the art of writing letters to her favorite celebrities, and actually got a response once: from FRED SAVAGE. I mean, if anyone's going to write you back, it's that guy right? The dream man of every 12-year-old girl on the planet, the consummate nice guy, the owner of the most adorable dimples ever (next to A.C. Slater, of course).

The headshot he mailed back was clever and totally rad: "Jessica: May all your years be Wonder Years." Wow. Be still my heart (as Jess herself would say). He actually wrote back! And probably from the set of "The Wizard" while he was testing out the big screen debut of Super Mario Bros 3 and hanging out with co-star and future wet dream of every hispter boy ever, Jenny Lewis. It was probably the best celebrity-being-awesome story ever told.

Until Jess got to high school.

By the late 90s, she was living a super fantastic life in Mansfield, Texas, and her then-boyfriend Matt visited her at work, ecstatic to give her a gift. "Jessica. Guess what. I was talking by the bookstore and GUESS who was signing copies of his book. Brandon Tartikoff!"

[Many of you may not even know who that is. But for folks like Jess and me, he was a veritable hero. Mr. Tartikoff was the head of NBC in the 80s and 90s and he was the man responsible for telling us about a "hit idea for the new fall season" on the Johnny Dakota Anti-Drug episode of the best television show of all time, Saved by the Bell.]

Anyway, Matt pulled out a copy of Mr. Tartikoff's memoir "The Last Great Ride," and showed Jess the inscription he "wrote" for her: "Dear Jessica: There's no hope with dope! Love, Brandon Tartikoff."

Awww. Sweet, right? Perhaps. If Jessica wasn't fully aware that Brandon had passed away FOUR YEARS prior. Haha oops. Nice try Matt. I love that he assumed Brandon would write "love" so early in their nonexistent relationship, too. Feeble attempt, but a treasured memory and hilarious story, nonetheless, right?

And at least Jessica still had her Fred Savage headshot. Although by then Jessica had realized that Fred probably hadn't written her back himself and some publicist probably did it. Seems that sweet Savage boy was more the thundering bass, powerhouse drums badass we would expect from something called Sweet Savage.